Counting Conundrum

How many ways are there to count things in Japanese....oh let me count the ways. My Japanese teacher left and after a particularly difficult lesson, I decided to complain to you all just a little. Do you know that there are 11 different ways to count in Japanese? If you are counting food items or things in general, you use hitotsu, futatsu, mittsu (for one, two, three). BUT if you are counting FLAT food items or FLAT papers, you use ichi-mai, ni-mai, san-mai (again, for one, two, three). However, if you are counting LONG slender food items or LONG objects, you use ip-pon, ni-pon, san-bon (again, for one, two, three). Books are counted differently, animals, machines and vehicles, socks/shoes, liquids, floors, and people. They all have their own way of being counted. This is CRAZINESS at its best! AHHHHHHH!